TO KEN...

I started working almost a year after Ken went home. So, that means that Year No. 2 was spent sitting behind a desk in a professional environment...no crying allowed...and especially no crying aloud. However, at the stroke of five, when I climbed into my trusty LeBaron convertible, the tears came. Weeks passed, the crying lessened, but the ache stayed. Soon I heard myself saying the same words every night, "Oh, Ken, I always, always thought we'd be together until Jesus came"...big sigh..."I never, never dreamed we'd be apart."

That's how the poem came about. (And now...it is a song.)

ALWAYS

I always, always thought we’d be together till that day…
I never, never dreamed we’d be apart.
I truly, truly hoped that we would do the golden years.
I really, really did...I did with all my heart.

Now I mostly, mostly think of you whenever I am thinking
And I hardly, hardly sleep a whole night through.
I mainly, mainly walk around in one big fuzzy daze
And I rarely, rarely laugh the way I used to laugh with you.

     Everything I see reminds me of you.
     Everything I see and everything I do.
     Everything I see reminds me of the days that you were here...
     The tulips and the back roads…a blue shirt you used to wear;
     After shave and weeping willows, and all the things you made;
     The convertible, a lovely farmhouse sitting in the shade;
     Maynard and communion, funny movies, nails and screws;
     Looking at the stars and listening to the news..
     Not anything does not remind me of you.

So I simply, simply smile when I think about our love
And though I warmly, warmly wish for your embrace,
I am slowly, slowly learning how to hobble down this road
And bravely, bravely take the steps to get back in the race.

Yes, I always, always thought we’d fly together on that day…
Yet I clearly, clearly see beyond the sky
That you’re safely, safely home and for that my heart is glad
I most surely, surely rest in peace…I know you did not die.

Intently, yes, intently for the trumpet sound I wait

As I calmly, calmly peer into the blue...
Oh, I always, always thought...yet...it’s not so long until
I gladly, gladly see my Savior…and see you!

(Maynard is Ken's stuffed gorilla that rides around with me now. The mention of communion is especially because one day Ken just started taking the communion cup for me because my shaking made it hard for me to do. The rest is self explanatory.)