KIDS AND HUSBANDS
Just a side note here. The tendency is to switch from one mode to another after the kids come along. However long it may be before the first child is born, husbands enjoy being the focus of their wives. Together, life can be taken in full stride, side by side, with little to divert attention away from each other.
Then a child enters the picture. Maybe more to follow. Things can’t be the same, ever, and it shouldn’t be. Now the two partners find themselves in 20 or so years of diapers, soccer games, parent/teacher conferences, first driver’s licenses, dating and lots of other things. Little by little, life as a devoted couple changes into “ships passing in the night.”
Maybe I’ll write something to the husbands later, but for now, a word to the “wives” is sufficient: Get an old fashioned scale with weights. I’m almost inclined to urge the purchase of an actual scale with little weights, some marked “kindness,” some marked, “10 minutes serving,” some with 10 minutes of conversation,” “10 minutes hugging,” and “10 minutes consoling.” At the end of the day, reach into the leather pouch, pull out the weights one by one and put them on the appropriate side: Husband or Kids.
This can be done without a scale taking up part of your counter space, of course! Wives, take stock. There has to be time set aside for your husband. You’ve got to practice keeping your voice kind. Maintain a goal to show respect. Try to help him with a problem. Keep in mind that he has never done this “fathering” thing anymore than you have had practice being a mother!
Preparation for the empty nest days begins when the children are five and ten and sixteen. Don’t imagine that you’ll be able to go out for breakfast in the twenty five years and look lovingly into eyes that are looking back at you with equal love, if you can’t or aren’t doing it now.
God gives the correct order for priorities in Titus:
So, don’t spend a lot of time trying to set your priorities. God laid it all out for you!
2006
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