HESED
While working at Judson College in the 90s, life was hard. Finances were a dark subject at my house, and as you can imagine, that darkness seeped into our marriage…not the divorce kind of darkness, but the sticking-it-out kind. The kids were in their 20s, some still at home, some out on their own. In one particular period during that time, I was in deep gloom because, well, let's say, people were not treating people nicely, you know.
On a Sunday night when I was to play the piano at church, the leader and I went over the music together before the service. “The Steadfast Love of the Lord Never Ceases” was one chorus he had picked out. I did not know it. He sang it for me and I fiddled with the chords until I figured them out. Then, the congregation sang it. The next day at work, all I could remember was the first two lines and I sang them over and over again, not in a spiritual spirit but because I couldn’t get it off my mind. I drove the people crazy in my office.
The next day, Tuesday, I left home with a heavy, heavy heart, carrying the burden of feeling unloved by all. Obvious, I’m sure, was the gloom that surrounded me the entire day. And I sang. All day. My children will tell you that when I am under pressure I always sing something...anything!
But…because I was trying to complete a degree that I had begun at Moody some 30 years before, I had class that day. It was Old Testament with Dr. Erickson. Needing the credits, I went. I slumped into my chair. I was in near tears. It was the day to start into Jeremiah.
Dr. Erickson prepped us for Jeremiah, but then he said, “Before we go on, I want to go back in Isaiah for just a few moments to something very important. He had us turn to Isaiah 54:10. I was still slumping. The tears were still threatening. He read the verse.
"For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed, says the LORD, who has compassion on you."
Like the burning bush, it made its mark. That was not what my Bible said. Mine said, "...my lovingkindness shall not depart from you...." I sat up, actually somewhat dazed, a truth slowly dawning upon me, raised my hand and asked if his Bible actually said “steadfast love.” He replied that it did.
"Mine says 'lovingkindness,'" I said almost in a whisper.
Then he launched into one of the most awesome Bible lessons I have ever experienced. He shared his knowledge on the word “hesed." My heart was strangely awakened, partly by his stirring explanation of the Hebrew word used for “steadfast love” and “lovingkindness,” but mainly by the indisputable fact that Almighty God had carried out a three-day plan to get a message across to me personally that He wanted me never to forget. His love for me, Sharon Heldman, was unfailing no matter what else was going on.
Evidently, “hesed” is a difficult Hebrew word to translate because it is the word for God’s…well, His love, His lovingkindness, His steadfast love, His mercy. Who could ever find words to describe it? And to think, “hesed” had moved my Great God to deal intimately with me once again. I was never the same after that day. My lesson of the day was clear: the love of God toward me never changes. I have clung to the truth of Isaiah 54:10 through the worst of times and until light broke in my marriage and in our family. It is absolutely indisputable that God Almighty was interacting with Sharon Heldman.
Oh, I’m happy to have a chance to tell this story again!
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