FORGET AND REMEMBER

My tendency is to remember my failures and forget my successes, and in both cases, the tendency is often extreme. Even when I am not consciously thinking about the many failures, they are lurking in the back of my mind. The most common subject is the things I did wrong raising the kids. I have periods of concerted effort to stop it, but I am not lastingly successful.

The other night, something refreshing happened to me, and it was clear to me, because of the Scripture verse connected with it, that God was encouraging me. “Whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things.”

So, here it goes: things I did right.

• I was home with the kids, engaged, until the twins were in seventh grade.
• I taught each of them to read before they entered kindergarten…Nate could read anything when he was two.
• I taught them to sing. When Ginger was three, Matt was six and Nate was seven (or thereabouts) I taught them to sing harmony. Our first song was “Away In a Manger” which they learned in our upstairs bedroom at Keeler. Very soon after, they were able to hear the parts and harmonize on their own. One of my fondest memories was hearing them singing at night in their beds. The twins used to sing together in their room at night when they were two.
• I taught them the basics on the piano. Before it was over, they could play either by ear or by note to one extent or another.
• I wanted them to be able to feel comfortable singing or speaking in front of a crowd and that came to pass.
• I wanted them to be able to be ready to sing at a moment’s notice if the soloist did not show up or someone asked for them to sing.
• Although I cannot say I was faithful in gathering them together for devotions every single day, we did have periods of good times of Bible study together. I remember an intense study of the kings of Israel and Judah, and I remember rich study of the names of God in the Bible, to name a couple.
• I sang to them about everything, from the time they were born until they left the house. When they were little, I taught them every song I could think of, which included a substantial list of songs my mother taught me.
• I tried to set an example of praying and believing. They saw plenty in their lives at home! The struggles of life sometimes almost did us in, but I remember taking them aside to pray during those times…and I remember them starting to do the same for me as time went on.
• I told them I was sorry. Whenever I figured out that I had reacted badly or spoken out of line with God’s guidelines for a mom, I went right away to say I was sorry. If I even thought I was wrong, I apologized.
• I spanked them. God says that if you love your kids you will spank them. I wish I would have spanked them less and held them in my arms more, but when they disobeyed, I spanked them. How I hated doing it!
• I taught them what I knew about art, which wasn’t much. But between and Ken and me, they all came away with a good graphic eye!
• I made them work. They cleaned and washed clothes and helped clean off the table and mowed, etc. even when they were little.
• I prayed for them. Oh, how I wish (and here I go throwing a failure into the mix) that I had made this the Number One priority, but at least I can recall praying and supplicating for them, lifting them to God many nights through.

It delights me to think that there is enough in this list for any person to make a go of it! It was good for me to spend time thinking about the pure things I did and the honest and the lovely. Just as I would not be happy if one of my children wallowed in their failures and errors, I am sure God is not pleased either when I do it.

And don’t forget…forget those things which are behind! Philippians 3:13